Expand your Life,

Lose your 




by Kate Lim

When you think of an egotistical person, what comes in to your mind? Mr know-it-all perhaps? Manipulative, uncooperative, my way or the high way, “I am always right, and you are wrong” type of characteristics? People who carries ego tend to have the misconception that when he hold on to his ego, he becomes big, he is in power, he can manipulate; but in truth, it isn’t so.

When you carry your ego, you live with conditions in life; you are setting limits to what you could have experienced. Due to your deep rooted fear, you need to ensure that things are going according to your way; you need to ensure all result is how you have expected it to be. Ego creates the need to make people listen to you, but you are not willing to listen, you dislike unfamiliar things, you only want to know what you already knew; anything new is obsolete because it may makes you feel inferior, and that could scar your ego.

Conditions that the ego has set for you boxed you in a very narrow world, not allowing you to make advancement in life. Fear is what causing you to hold on to the conditions. You are afraid that you have no control over what’s coming; you need to “predict” and have a sense of control of the future. Yet, life is ever flowing, it is never rigid. Life is flexible, and it keeps flowing, just like the flow of river that eventually flow into the vast ocean. Sometimes, things are not going accordingly because we need to learn from our mistake and adopt new perspective, gain new wisdom so we are able to experience more in life. But if one carries his ego, he only limits himself in a stagnant river, not allowing the self to experience more in this vast life.

Unfortunately, ego is something that you have accumulated through the society; no one is born with ego. As one grows in life, he learns from parents, from school; he goes on collecting certificates, he needs to be in the first place, he needs to score A’s; he needs to have a place in the work place, in this society. The ego continues to expand as you try to accumulate ‘things’ in life; not even knowing why are you accumulating them at the first place. Slowly, you start losing yourself, your true essence by trying to fulfil and fit in to the society norm. 

When you buy something, for example, a branded bag; why do you buy it? Are you buying it because you need it? Or are you buying it because you need to show others that you own something expensive? But why is it necessary to impress people? That’s because the ego need compliment, the ego need recognition from the external world; yet the internal world is a void.

When the inner world is a void, whatever has been accumulated in life will never be enough for the ego. And when this happen, when your inner world is hollow, you tend to live in fear; fear that you are not enough, fear that you cannot be better. This fear will slowly consume you from the inside, creating more voids and more insecurities that will eventually put you in darkness.  Fear likes to talk to the ego, it makes the ego think that you need more and more, yet there is no end. You may be burned out, not knowing what has gone wrong; you may start to develop disease not knowing how you get it. Your relationships with others deteriorate because you are always frustrated and angry; yet you blame others for your misery. Your world becomes darker and darker because of the negative vicious cycle created by the ego. Inevitably, you lose the best gift in life – You!

Trees never compete with each other to see who is bigger, stronger or taller. They exist in their own term, not needing to compare. Trees know their purpose in life, they know what they are able to do; but you don’t. You do things because society expects you to do; you no longer know what is it that you truly want for yourself.  As you continue to grow, you start to see friends getting new car, new house, go for holidays and you start to feel anxious; wondering why you aren’t doing as good. You have forgotten that you and your friends are two completely different individual, even your finger prints are different; it is quite unlikely that your life would be exactly the same. So what is the purpose of comparing?  It is useless and wasting energy. Your life journey, your own personal growth is meant to be different from others; otherwise there is no need for you to be here. There is something for you to learn and accomplish here on earth, at your own pace. There is really no need to compare or compete. When you do so, you are only making yourself feel inferior and create never ending fear.

Lose the ego and allow yourself to engage in something that brings life’s growth. Live, not merely to conform to the society, but do something that brings joy and contentment to your inner world. When you lose the ego, you enable yourself to experience more because you understand now that even when things are not going accordingly, there is a higher purpose behind it. It happens for you to learn, to adopt a new perspective, to gain new wisdom in order to improve yourself and expand your life experiences.  When you lose your ego, you no longer limit your capabilities and experiences through conditioning; you let your life experience expand and allow your capabilities to grow with it too.

Never underestimate what you are able to do, flow with life and you shall discover them. But when you hold on to your ego, you will never discover any new capabilities within you because the constant fear and insecurities will hinder your body mind soul functioning and impede your true nature. Lose the ego, and let wisdom, possibilities, new abilities flow in to you.

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